In the past, I got to know a former coworker who was extremely well-read and basically knew how to manage everything extremely well—teams, the dynamics of others, sales, stock management and still found time to serve the community.
As someone fresh out of school and full of curiosity, I asked him what the most important skill or field of study I should focus on was.
He told me that he had read philosophy, but that philosophy itself is "dead"—it is useful and important to apply it to many other areas. It helps you manage and shape different viewpoints and interpersonal relationships well.
Out of curiosity, he also asked me,
"How do you deal with personal dynamics as someone fresh out of school?"
I told him, "I take it as a form of cultivation."
He looked like he wanted to laugh, but sensing my seriousness on the matter, he replied,
"In a workplace—or in fact in many places—it is not a place for any form of cultivation. Sometimes, it’s not even a place to make friends, and not everyone is your parents and has your best interest."
However, for me, finding positivity is something necessary in our everyday lives. It’s necessary for my survival. When I learned that my very own neighbor across the hall goes to the animal shelter to help, to clean, even to pay the bills for abandoned animals, my heart feels warmer. When I hear about students helping to clean the one-room flats of elderly folks, my boring day feels better.
Some time back, I read that this way of seeing things is one of the worst strategies. There is a book called Marchavilla. In summary, it points out that being nice gets you nowhere. One needs to have some psychopathic traits—not in a negative manner. You are calm in the boardroom. You get to make friends immediately, and others find you charming.
Maybe in a way it is true. I also got to know a friend who is always putting in hard work, yet she just stays where she is. She doesn’t like LinkedIn. She doesn’t even like social media. She is very quiet and just does her work quietly; however, she does not get the promotion she deserves.
Today, some of these things still made me felt unanswered.